A Joint Honeymoon and a 75th Anniversary

After perusing three large card stores, it was obvious that a 75^th anniversary card was not to be found. Thinking about it, the market for such cards must be quite small as only two other 75th anniversaries are within memory. In a world where it is easy for a marriage to end in divorce before the thank you notes are written,  making 75 years takes more than good genes.

Ruth and Ray are celebrating a remarkable life together. They were born less than 10 miles apart just after the U.S. made its entry into World War l.  They were children during the Depression. They were in high school during the depths of it and were married as the country was coming out of it, only to be gearing up for a new war.

They participated in the same church and yet went to high schools 20 miles apart. There were no school buses in the 1930s and Ray lived with his aunt and uncle during the week, returning to his farm home 8 miles away on the weekend. Sharing a room with his cousin of the same age, the two were as close as brothers. On the first day of high school, Ruth met the junior with the locker next to hers. The upper classman was friendly to the freshman, a quiet country girl from a rural school. The girls were friendly but not part of the same crowd. Clarice was boarding while serving as a mother’s helper and domestic. She lived almost 20 miles from school and it was only her service that allowed her to go to high school during the Depression.

For the two girls and the two boys, high school was a time of scholastic awards, music awards, being prom royalty, participating in plays and school clubs. The Depression meant there was little money for anything other than necessities, however the boys had a little money and were known to chew gum. They were able to offer a piece to others. As simple as gum is, it wasn’t a thing most could not afford. The boys could even take the car to Kewaunee. It was a time when those who had cars didn’t use them because gas cost money that most did not have.

Clarice graduated first, not because she was the eldest, but because there was an error in her birth registration. Being second youngest in a large family, the year was forgotten and she entered first grade a year early. The mistake was found when her baptismal records were needed for Confirmation. She turned 17 just before high school graduation. Finding another boarding-domestic arrangement with a high school principal’s family, she was able to attend Door-Kewaunee County College. She was there when she met the boys at the high school just down the block. She and Maynard were married 6 years later.

The Depression was easing when Clarice and Maynard double-dated with Ray and his girlfriend. Imagine the surprise on the faces of the two women when they realized they’d gotten to know each other during the two years they had adjacent lockers. From then on the two couples were almost inseparable. Maynard often commented that Ray and Ruth were the “salt of the earth,” people who never gossiped or “kicked a man who was down.” After Maynard’s death, they were always there for Clarice and meant the world for her children.

In today's world nobody would think of honeymooning with another couple. But that’s just what the two couples did. Ruth and Ray married during threshing. That was not the time for a farmer to honeymoon.  Clarice and Maynard married the following June, just before haying. Pooling their meager funds, the foursome planned a trip to "The Soo" to see the locks.

Weddings were different in 1940. Breakfasts and dinners were generally at the bride’s home. An evening dance often capped off the day. Maynard had responsibilities on his parents’ farm while also being employed at Algoma Plywood. The plant was geared up for war production and getting a day off was almost unheard of, wedding or not. Maynard got his day and the couples wanted to leave immediately after the wedding dinner. Tires had inner tubes and highways were paved with gravel that was more like stones when compared to today’s graveled roads. Estimating time on the road always had to include tire changing. With three days for the trip, time was precious. Maynard’s father didn’t make things any easier as he owned a dairy and insisted on a dance for his customers.  Friends and relatives too, of course.

Finally the couples got on their way in the wee hours of the morning. The first stop was at a tourist cabin in Manitowish Waters near the site of Little Bohemia, the place made famous by the 1934 FBI-John Dillinger gang shootout.

Thoughts of the beautiful northern Wisconsin vacation spot brings uproarious laughter in our families, but that has nothing to do with Dillinger. The financially strapped, honeymooning couples rented a cabin with two beds, not two bedrooms. To offer some privacy, they strung a cord from one wall to the other and hung a blanket. At Ray and Ruth’s 70^th anniversary celebration, Clarice told stories of that trip, stories the young people found hard to believe. Sharing the room on a honeymoon brought looks of disbelief and then peals of laughter. Tire blowouts, the inner tubes, the graveled highways, and a groom who was lucky to get a day off work for his wedding – all unheard of today. And, to look at the pictures…..the well-dressed men wore suits, hats and Spectator shoes. Unseen garters held their socks up.  The women wore hats and dresses and held up their silk stockings with garter belts. The silk stockings had seams in the back and every self-respecting woman checked those seams often. They had to be straight. To be traveling in less casual attire was also unheard of.

To be married for 75 years is to have seen continually changing social mores. It is more than a look at history through books and videos. It is living. Experiencing joint honeymoons and blankets affording privacy because there was no other way was part of it. All four were born during World War 1. They were children and young adults during the Depression. They married on the cusp of World War ll and lived through that. They lived through the Cold War, the Korean War, Vietnam, two Gulf wars and now Afghanistan.

Ray and Ruth have seen everything and yet are not jaded.  They have always worked hard. They are positive and optimistic. They give to God, family and community. In that order. They are truly an inspiration. And, to quote an area TV commercial, “You can’t do better than that now, can you?”